To be a Shepard
by TexA55Toast
Summary: Any man can recognize the evil in his own heart. Only a man filled with true regret has the ability ascend from the darkness. (Rated T for swearing, violence, and other such things) Possible pairings in the future.
1. Chapter 1

Well this is my first time writing something like this so bear with me.

Also, I don't own anything…..and I am stealing a line from Pulp Fiction.

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Cardin Winchester was laying on his back gazing up at the stars. This was not the best idea in the world. It wasn't a bad idea because of temperature (though it did get quite chilly this time of year in Vale) and he wasn't especially concerned with dirtying his school uniform. No, the reason that made lying on his back on the roof, wearing his school uniform a bad idea was a slender paper tube filled with tobacco. Cardin Winchester was lying down and smoking. He had watched his cousin burn himself many times doing the same thing.

He took a long drag before snuffing the butt out on the roof. "Mother was right Jacob…we could've been brothers," he confessed to the darkness.

From somewhere behind him he heard a door open and footsteps approach him. There was only one person who would be out here at this time of night and only one person that would just so casually walk up to the most feared bully in all of Beacon.

"Fuck you Jaune. You can't bum a smoke tonight. I'm down to my last two."

The blonde leader of team JNPR stood several paces behind the ginger leader of team CRDL. The blonde had a smirk on his face as he complained, "Didn't I give you money for this week's pack?"

Cardin closed his eyes and stretched, "Last week? Yes. This week? No."

Jaune sat down next to Cardin. "When did I first find you up here?"

Cardin scratched at his chin, "Whatever day Ms. Perfect sprained your wrist."

Cardin and smoked since he was twelve. The bad habit was picked up from his cousin Jacob, his father, and basically every other male member of the clan Winchester. One could not imagine the joy he felt when he discovered the perfect smoke spot. His little patch of roof was secluded with no windows parallel or higher. The path to the stairwell that ascended to his nirvana wound its way through the old maintenance hall ways of the dorms.

So when Jauney Boy the toothpick stumbled out in the middle of a long needed smoke break, Cardin was a loss for words. After some stuttering Jaune confessed to having hurt his wrist while sparing with Pyra and was unable to sleep. Cardin got a good laugh out of that. The boy who took down the Ursa that would have ended the Winchester line was whining about a booboo. When Cardin asked if Jaune would rat him out, the blonde surprised him by saying, "I'll keep quite if you let me try one."

Thus an arrangement was made: as long as Jaune chipped in, he could bum a few cigarettes every now and then. The first few times had been awkward but as days rolled into weeks, the two team leaders found their smoke breaks to be…pleasant. Jaune wasn't as much of a spineless bitch that Cardin and believed him to be and Cardin, to Jaune's relief, was more bark than bite.

Cardin was still lying on his back gazing up at the heaven's when Jaune finally spoke again. "You know, if you were this chill with everybody you would the most popular kid at Beacon."

The gingers only response was one finger salute.

"And there's the Winchester we all know and love." Jaune checked the time on his scroll and after noticing how late it had become decided to turn in for the night. "I'll see you around asshole." Another development between the two was a friendly banter of name calling and swearing.

"Wait."

Jaune looked over to see that Cardin had moved to a sitting position as well.

"You read the bible Jaune?"

Jaune was taken aback by the seemingly random question, "Not really…"

"Me neither…but I have this passage memorized." He closed his eyes and recited the line he mentally rehearsed before every fight, "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

Cardin turned his head to face Jaune, "That's why I became a hunter Jaune…that's why I became a hunter." He aimlessly flicked his Schnee Windproof lighter, "At first I thought that the Grimm, the Faunas, and the Criminals were the evil, I was the righteous, and my mace…he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. I came here to Beacon and after all that shit in Forever Fall I changed my mind. Maybe, you're the righteous man, I'm the shepherd, and it's the world that's evil and selfish. But as we've been up here smoking and talking shit…I realized something Jaune. I've been lying to myself this whole time. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men."

Cardin hung his head in shame. He had been rehearsing this little speech in his head for a while now and he finally had found the confidence to voice it. He spoke barely above a whisper, "Jaune…I want to try to be the shepherd. I want to try so bad it hurts."

Jaune put his hand on Cardin's shoulder and in the most serious tone the ginger had ever heard him use said, "Don't try. If you 'try' people will just shut you down and step all over you. You have to do it. You have to say 'fuck it all' and make it happen."

Color Cardin impressed. He looked over and the blonde and just smirked, "What makes you think that'll work."

The leader of JNPR stood up and offered his had to Cardin, "Because you are the one who taught me that."

The redhead scoffed and got up on his own power. "You're still a bitch," he said with a grin.

Jaune turned toward the door and return Cardin's earlier one-finger salute, "I can't wait for that shirt I ordered for you to get here. It says, 'World's Biggest Douche.' It comes with a certificate and everything."

Cardin slowly stood up and watched as the blonde toothpick disappeared through the door. Cardin looked down at the lighter that Jacob had entrusted to him and grinned, "I don't know many things Jacob but I do know this…my life is gonna suck cock for the next few weeks."

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I plan to continue but let me know what y'all think.


	2. Chapter 2

Let me start off by saying that I'm heartbroken to hear the news about Monty. I hope he makes a speedy and full recovery. As a soldier, these words helped me through any tough time I faced: Never accept defeat. Never quit.

On a story note: trigger warnings…please don't hate me.

I don't own anything.

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Cardin tucked his lighter and smokes into the jacket of his uniform and slowly made his way off of the roof. He had given Jaune a few minutes head start as he contemplated his little outburst. In all honesty, Cardin had become increasingly disappointed with himself after the Ursa incident. He had basically lying to himself about his actions and that's what hurt the worst. If there was to be any chance of this whole 'Shepherd' thing taking place, he would need to sit his team down in the morning and explain the situation. Start with baby steps…maybe pick up trash in the cafeteria or stop harassing people at lunch.

As Cardin reached for the handle on the door, he stopped and shuddered. Cutting back on bullying meant laying off _everyone_. That meant Faunus too. Cardin suddenly became acutely aware of the slight weight of the lighter in his pocket. He's feelings toward Faunus were not something he was up to discuss…at least not sober.

With an audible sigh, Cardin opened the maintenance door and began his decent of the dark, winding stairwell. There were no lights in the stairwell, just a sun/moon roof directly above. Cardin knew nothing of architecture or budgeting but he assumed that this was a way to cut power costs in a wing of the school he wasn't even allowed to be in.

Only a couple of flights down, he heard a scuffling/shuffling noise from one of the landings below him. He stopped and listened in with a smirk on his face. Cardin had been a real lady killer back in his Signal days and knew the sounds of hankey-pankey when he heard it.

Cardin chuckled softly as he thought to himself, "What kind of shepherd lets two of his flock muck about in the dark? Guess I'll have to send them on their way." Besides, this wasn't bullying; nope, not at all. He was simply…enforcing the schools PDA rule. Yeah, enforcing the PDA rule.

He crept down the last few flights separating him from the midnight redevous-ers. He stopped on the landing above and listened in. The plan was to wait for something good (the right sigh or groan) and then burst from the shadows wagging his finger in proper enforcement of school regulations…not because it was funny.

The smirk vanished from Cardin's face though as a voice drifted up to him, "Stop fighting it hun…you might actually enjoy yourself…"

Fifteen steps. There were fifteen steps between him and the…_THING_ that was happening below him. Cardin had been an asshole, a bully, a douchebag extraordinaire…but he never, NEVER, would do…that. So it did not surprise him in the least when he felt his body coil and leap down those fifteen steps. He'd been launched off cliff into the Emerald Forest for fuck's sake. What were fifteen steps?

Cardin landed next to the pair with a growl. It was dark but he could just make out their forms in the shadows. One was on their back pinned to the floor by the bastard while he hovered above them. Without thinking, Cardin kick forward with all his might. The blow connected with the asshole's head sending him rolling into the wall. The wannabe rapist tried to get up, _tried_ being the key word. Cardin quickly closed the gap, grabbed the attacker by his leg and threw him down the stairs onto the next landing.

Even in the poor light Cardin could see the shape of the attacker motionless on the floor. Satisfied that he wasn't going anywhere soon, Cardin turned his attention to the person he had just saved. He pulled out his scroll and activated the flashlight app he had installed. With a sudden flash the landing lit up. Cardin blinked a few times in bewilderment. Lying on the floor in front of him was the rabbit Faunus that he often bullied during lunch.

Her clothes were ruffled but otherwise intact. He got closer and was about to ask if she was alright when he stopped dead in his tracks. Her face was flushed, her breathing was ragged, and she was sweating profusely.

"Hey Rabbit…are…are you O.K.?"

The girl just laid on the floor, eyes closed. Cardin crouched down and gently shook her shoulder. Her only response was a soft grunt. Cardin ran his hand through his hair as he tried to figure out what to do.

Suddenly the sound of running feet greeted his ears. Cardin quickly peered over the railing at the spot where he had thrown Bunny Ear's attacker only to find that he had fled. After a quick moment of deliberation, Cardin knew what he had to do.

"Fuck my life, I just wanted a smoke!"

He scooped up the rabbit girl in his arms. She tried to squirm away but he only tucked her up against his chest. Then Cardin ran. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him. He ran down the stairs, through the dorms, across the vast emptiness that was Beacon during the night. He ran all the way to the school infirmary.

Since this was a combat school the infirmary operated more like a small hospital. He knew there would be someone on duty that could help. Maybe it was the adrenaline or all the nicotine buzzing in his head but Cardin breach kicked the double doors yelling, "I think she's dying!"


	3. Chapter 3

Hey y'all. You might be wondering where the fuck I've been at and why have I been gone. This is what happened and it happened in this order: Truck died, Graduated College, Military paperwork, got a new truck, got a job, watched a guy overdose on heroin and die in a bathroom at that job, computer died and lost all files for this FanFic, more Military paperwork, got a new computer, my 15 year old dog had to be put down and had to hand dig his grave in a rainstorm, more Military paperwork, and then I found out I had access to a free copy of word all along and rage quit. Then I typed this. Got it? Good.

Just a heads up. This story might get dark and terrible. Why? Because it does. On with the show!

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The sun felt warm on his face as Cardin drew in a deep breath. He rolled his neck as he kept his eyes shut. It had been a while since he fell asleep sitting up. Kinda fucking hurt his back. Just before Cardin opened his eyes he froze as stiff as a board. His room smelled like dudes, gun oil, and cheap cologne. This room wreaked of sanitizer and cleaner. Instead of his alarm clock blaring his favorite metal song, he instead heard a steady electronic beep….

Cardin opened his eyes and to see he was looking down at Velvet Scarlatina lying in one of the infirmary's beds. Slowly looking around revealed that Cardin was in one of the private rooms. Rooms that only held critical patients. To be fair, it wasn't that bad of a set up. One window, several chairs for guests to sit and visit (or pass out), and state of the art monitoring equipment built right into the wall. It was an almost cozy place if you could disregard the possibility of the occupant's untimely death. Cardin let his eyes drift over to the medical panels on the wall. He was not doctor but he knew enough from the dustnet and TV to know that the rabbit was alive….for now.

Getting up as quietly as he could, Cardin failed to notice the person who had arrived at the door. In a quiet and monotone voice the headmaster of Beacon addressed his student, "It seems you have finally awaken Mr. Winchester. Care to join me for some breakfast?" Cardin almost bit his tongue holding in his surprised yelp. He quickly regained his composer and followed the professor out into the hallway. Ozpin took a sip from his coffee mug as the door slid shut behind Cardin, "I'm going to assume you have a great deal of questions….they can wait until after you have had a proper meal." Cardin just nodded in response and followed quietly. He was pretty much in shock after the night before and he just couldn't ground himself in reality just yet.

The duo made their way down the corridor and out of into the main medical bay. They continued along until they reached the main entranceway. Cardin stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed the damage he had done during his impromptu medivac...at least Cardin knew he was good at breaking shit. The door was fractured and one of the locks hung loosely by some splinters. Ozpin turned when he noticed that Cardin was no longer at his heel, "Impressive work Mr. Winchester. Did you learn that from Ms. Goodwitch or perhaps you were imitating one of Prof. Port's tales?" Cardin's jaw dropped before he answered the headmaster, "Mom always said I was better with brawn than I was brains." The feeling of disbelief continued as Cardin and the headmaster of Beacon made funny quips about how said student destroyed the door to the schools medical facility.

A short trip across a courtyard found them at the Cafeteria. As they entered, Cardin was confused by the lack of life until he remembered that it was Sunday morning and most students wouldn't be back on campus until that afternoon. Cardin was next taken aback by the almost casual nature with which the headmaster and himself gathered their food and located a quiet corner away from the few students that could be found there. Ozpin did nothing more than top off his coffee while Cardin sat with a plate of plain dry toast. While Ozpin's fair was expected the headmaster cocked his brow at his student. Cardin just tried to grin, "Not much of an appetite after all….well….weren't we gonna talk about it?"

Ozpin set his coffee mug down and folded his hands, "I already spoke to the nursing staff and I've reviewed the statement you gave them. I must say, your actions last night seem almost contradictory to your usual behavior." Cardin's back stiffened. He flashed back to his speech with Jaune on the roof, "I'm working on making positive changes." Ozpin smirked, "And the smoking?" Cardin just grinned, "Better that kill me than a Grim." Looking down at the table he drew in a breath, "Is she…." The headmaster quickly cut him off, "Ms. Scarlatina will make a full recovery." Cardin just nodded. He didn't know how to feel about the whole situation, "It's just…I could feel her slipping away…I thought she would die in my arms." Ozpin placed his hand on Cardin's shoulder, "It was your quick thinking that saved her life Mr. Winchester. Know that much."

Cardin steadied himself and waited for Ozpin to continue. Returning his hands back to their place on the table Ozpin spoke once again, "In regards to the person you…engaged…in the stairwell. Standard aura regeneration would have healed any wounds you inflicted. The faculty and I will continue the search for him." Ozpin paused to sip his coffee, "Mr. Winchester, are you familiar with the recreational drug, 'Cat Nip'?" This question confused Cardin, "Um…yeah. It's a party drug that was popular with the burnouts back at Signal. It causes heighted senses right? Makes you taste purple or whatever." The strongest drug the red head had partook in was his beloved nicotine. Ozpin nodded, "Indeed. That is all true…for humans at least. Faunus do not take to it so well. Because of their already heightened sense the drug causes a massive sensory overload. In all honesty the drug got the nickname Cap Nip because of its prevalence as a Faunus date rape drug. If you had not got to Ms. Scarlatina when you did, her nervous system very well might have shut down completely."

Cardin put his head into his hands, "Prof. Ozpin…that is some heavy shit…can I go outside and smoke or something?"


	4. Chapter 4

Howdy y'all. Let me say thanks for all the favorites, follows, and reviews. I must be doing something right.

Again: I don't own shit. This is for entertainment purposes only. Keep your damn money.

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The second the nicotine hit his lungs, Cardin could physically feel his body relaxing. He was seated under a tree not far from the cafeteria doors. If this was normal day he would have never considered smoking in such a public place…but this was not a normal day. Normal days included hanging out with his team, getting mad swoll at the gym, or playing video games on his Dust Book. Instead, he was chatting with Ozpin about how someone drugged and tried to rape his favorite bullying victim. Cardin took a long deep drag and blew a big billow skyward. "Maybe I should take up drinking?"

The silence was broken by the sound of a long sip, "Ill-advised Mr. Winchester. You do not want to end up like a good friend of mind." Ozpin stood off to Cardin's side staring down at him. Cardin just snuffed his cigarette out, "What now?" Ozpin pushed his glasses back up his nose, "Go back to your dorm, inform your teammates of what has transpired, and prepare for what may come." With that, Ozpin turned and left Cardin to his thoughts. Cardin put his face into his hands before rising and heading off to the dorm of team CRDL.

* * *

As Cardin silently entered his dorm room a wave of relief washed over him. The only team member present was his partner Russel Thrush. Russel was seated at his desk sharpening his daggers. He looked up when he heard Cardin open the door, "Hey boss. Where the fuck did you go last night? Make a smoke run and get caught down in Vale?" Russel was the only member of team CRDL that knew about Cardin's smoking. It made for great blackmail/teasing material. Cardin just collapsed on his bed. Instantly realizing something was wrong when his leader did not immediately tell him to shove his daggers up his ass, Russel put said daggers down on his desk, "What's up?"

"Russ…what if I told you I'm the world's biggest douchebag?" Russel stared for a second, "…Is this some kind of trick? If I say yes will you punch me in the dick or something?" Ignoring him Cardin continued, "I've been hanging out with Juane during my smoke breaks. Made me realize that I'm not happy with who I've become. I decided last night I'm gonna be a better huntsman…maybe even a better person. We ALL are gonna give that a shot." He sat up and looked Russel dead in the eye, "No matter what happens…you feel me bud?" Russel had never heard his partner look so serious since he had met him, "I got your back brother. If think we fucked up somewhere I trust you." He then hung his head, "The thing with the Ursa…made me do some thinking of my own. I help you tell Sky and Lark when they get back from their...date. God, is it still weird that they not only happened to be gay but each other's ideal match? Like, is Ozpin some freakish matchmaker or something?" Cardin just grinned, "At least their happy. At least they decided to not make out in front of us anymore."

Now that the mood was considerably lighter Cardin decided this would be the perfect time to ruin it. "So…about me not coming back last night." Russel looked at him and motioned with his hands, "Go on." Cardin started playing with his lighter, "No easy way to say this. You remember the bunny girl we always give shit to? Caught someone trying to rape her in the stairwell that leads up to my smoke spot. Drugged her and everything. She almost died. Apparently I passed out by her bedside…" Russel waited for the punch line and after waiting for a solid, silent minute, he realized that it wasn't coming. "Holy fuck boss." Cardin put his face in his hands and sighed, "I know right? I was actually think of apologizing to her today at lunch…hard to do when she is in the Code Red wing of the infirmary."

Russel knew that as hunters they would have to deal with truly awful things in their time. He always assumed that would be after they had become full-fledged hunters. "I have no idea what to say…I never really liked the freak…but that…fuck. You want to be alone or…" Russel never got to finish his thought as Cardin interrupted him, "First: Don't call them freaks anymore. New leaf. Second: The last thing I want to be is alone. Can we go hit something?" Russel cracked his neck as he twirled his daggers in the air, "Sounds like you need a good sparing match. Let's see if there are any second years down at the sparing arena. Goodwitch fucking hates us. She will let us fight whoever the hell we want." Cardin clapped his hands together and stood up, "Beat up on assholes? I'm game. We better get down there before all the violent ones are taken." There were many things that Cardin kept from his teammates. His unquenchable thirst for combat was not one of them.

The duo headed off for the combat arena not knowing how much more complicated things were about to get.


	5. Chapter 5

Howdy y'all. Sorry for the delays in posting new chapters. Been a little busy lately and have not had time to put pen to paper. I know it's a shitty excuse but I have nothing better at the moment.

Don't own shit. Enjoy.

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After a short but quiet walk; neither of the two knowing what to say in light of Cardin's confession. The partners found themselves outside of the Arena's locker rooms. Russel went for the door as Cardin began to speak, "Alright, this late on a Sunday there shouldn't be many people other than us and some second years. If we hur-WHAM!"

Cardin was cut short by a very large and heavy purse collided with the side of his head. He hit the floor with an awful thud before rolling onto his knees. His head was spinning but the red head could make out the distinctive shades of Coco. Even without being able to see her eyes and Cardin knew they were burning red with rage. Ever the asshole, Cardin could not help himself, "Nice to meet you too, don't thi-WHAM!" This time, Coco gave Cardin a nasty uppercut with her bag knocking him flat on his back. Cardin was not push over, but his lack of armor and mental preparation left his aura low and his mind swimming.

Russel was slow to react, shocked at how quickly his partner had been beaten down. When he did go to make a move Coco simply backhanded him with her bag sending him flying through the locker room doors. As Cardin tried to sit up he felt a very expensive designer boot press down onto his throat. He looked back up at Coco and gagged as she slowly restricted his oxygen supply. "What did you do to Vel," Coco snarled twisting her boot as she asked. Carding only managed to wheeze out, "You...got it wrong" Coco pressed harder making Cardin's face go blue, "I got it wrong! Velvet disappears, won't answer her scroll and no one as seen her! Then this morning you are seen being led out of the infirmary by Ozpin! Not an hour later we get a call that Vel is unresponsive and we need to see her!" Coco was yelling now and Cardin could just make out the tears that were beginning to leak out from under her shades. Cardin managed to gasp out, "Found her…brought…her…doctors…" Coco released her boot from his neck if only to kick him harshly in the ribs, "Why should I believe you!?" Closing his eyes Cardin took in a few deep breaths, "I know….I know you have every right to hate me. I'm a pretty awful guy. But you need to listen to me. I was smoking on the roof. I was on my way back when I happened upon Bunny Ears and some guy." Cardin opened his eyes and stared into Coco's shades, "It didn't sound consensual." Sitting up and rubbing his throat he continued, "I scared him off and Bunny Ears wasn't looking so hot, I took her to the infirmary…I thought she stopped breathing…"

Maybe it was the adrenalin or the lack of oxygen to his brain but Cardin began to relive last night again. That small body shivering against him, going cold. His heart pounding in his chest…He buried his face into his hands as he curled his knees into his chest. Why was this affecting him like this? What was wrong with him? His shivering stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Coco kneeling in front of him. She had her shades down and much to Cardin's surprise her eyes were not red with rage. Instead they were puffy, bloodshot, and welled with tears. She let out a long sigh, "You aren't lying...are you?" All Cardin did was shake his head. Coco put her shades back on and threw her bag onto her shoulder. "I should have been with her...Sor-" Cardin laid back onto the floor and called out to her with his eyes closed, "Naw…I would have come after me too. Just be there when she wakes up." Coco nodded and took several steps before stopping and called over her shoulder, "What should I tell her?" Cardin just smirked to himself, "Don't tell her shit. Let the nurses and teachers handle it." Cardin sat up with a huff, "Now if you excuse me, I have to go make sure you didn't murder my partner. I just finished training him to do my homework just right too."

After much effort, Cardin found himself on his feet. He pulled out his scroll and checked his aura level. It wasn't in the red yet but it was closest he had been in a long time. He pocked his device as he pushed open the doors to the locker room, "Russ…you dead you lil'shit?" A quick search reveal two severely dented lockers but no Russel. Cardin fought the almost uncontrollable urge to pull out a cig and light up right then and there, "Why the fuck is my life so hard now?" "It's because you're such a pussy ass bitch," came Russel's voice faintly from the Locker room's adjoined bathroom off to Cardin's right. Slowly Cardin made his way over to the source of the snark. Russel was leaning against the wall with his head in the sink. He was running water over his head while groaning. Upon noticing Cardin's arrival, Russel stood up straight, "I knew you would be fine Boss. So how did you win?" Cardin flipped Russel dual birds before sighing, "Cried like a bitch on the ground and she gave up. Not my proudest moment but it got the job done."

Russel pushed off the wall and staggered toward his team leader and partner, "We are hands down the best hunters to have ever lived…so…still need to spar?" Cardin pulled Russel's arm over his shoulder and helped support him, "I will drown you in a toilet, you know that right?" Russel let out a toothy grin, "There's the big fuck we've all come to know and love. So, infirmary or back to the dorm?" Cardin started to drag Russel towards the exit. "Sky and Lark know first aid right?" Russel furrowed his brow, "I don't think so…" Cardin just grinned, "And now they get to learn. See what a great leader I am."


End file.
